


Spinning

by NotAHoldUp



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3495209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAHoldUp/pseuds/NotAHoldUp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bitty teaches Jack a figure skating spin. Jack reflects on his history of spinning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spinning

**Author's Note:**

> All thanks to Ngozi.

“…What.”

Bitty is standing in front of him swinging a pair a pair of size 12 figure skates. They had come to Faber for another early morning check practice. Bitty had improved tremendously since the start of his sophomore year, but Jack wanted to make sure that he hadn’t lost too much of the progress they had made over fall semester during winter break. Telling Jack that he would be back in “just a little second,” Bitty had dashed off without explaining where he was going or what he was doing. Now that he is back in front of him, Jack fails to see how the excursion was related to checking.

“We’ve worked so much on checking that I figure it’s high time you learn a little figure skating, Mr. Zimmermann.”

“Bittle, we didn’t come here to-“

“Gee Captain,” Bitty interrupts, smugly crossing his arms over his chest. “I thought you would WANT to learn something that’ll help your game.”  


Jack starts to open his mouth in protest, but slowly shuts it. Though he hates that Bitty knows exactly how to get him to do what he wants, Jack has to admit to himself that the other boy may have a point- Bitty is the fastest and most agile member of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team, an attribute that is undeniably due to his years as a figure skater.

Jack sighs, watching the cheerful expression stretching across Bitty’s face. “Fine, I guess we can spend a little time doing this.” In under a second the pair of skates makes their way into Jack’s hands with Bitty pushing him toward the benches to trade out his hockey skates. As Bitty rambles on about flying sit spins Jack makes a mental note to drill Bitty about any time he leaves their checking practices in the future.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Alright,” Bitty says, holding up a finger towards the high ceiling, tone triumphant. “The first thing I’m going to teach you is a simple two foot spin.”

Already Jack regrets his split decision to let Bitty talk him into figure skating practice. The figure skates feel strange on his feet, with much less curvature than he is accustomed to with hockey skates. They leave him feeling like he’s constantly sliding instead of standing steady on the ice. He doesn’t like it- he needs to be in control of each precise movement he makes in the rink. “Bittle, how exactly are spins going to help during a game?”

“You need to catch the puck and be able to score goals starting at any direction on the ice, right? Bless your heart if you can do that just by turning around.”

He grunts. Maybe if he feigns hunger, Bitty will let him go to cook up one of his sugary concoctions.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After nearly 30 minutes of explaining each muscle movement in excruciating detail and several step-by-step showings, Bitty finally claps his hands together, grinning ear to ear. “Okay Jack, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Jack stands there, feeling whiplashed by Bitty’s long-winded, fast-paced take on one of the simplest moves in figure skating. But after a moment, he pushes off, taking a lap around the rink before moving to center ice, processing each exact step that Bitty had spouted off. Exhaling deeply, Jack turns his feet on the ice. Just like that, the air whips around his face and he is weightless. Centered at the middle of the skates’ blades, Jack almost feels as if his feet don’t touch solid ground.

It’s strange, really. The last time that Jack felt that way was a long time ago. Before, the weightlessness from spinning was something that he felt often. 

Jack pulls through one complete spin. He remembered the first time that Kent had brought him to a party. The air was thick with cigarette smoke and it made his head spin just to be inside. After he had his first few drinks, Jack wasn’t sure if it was him or the room that was spinning. Kent’s hand wrapped warmly around his shoulder, those gray-green eyes enveloping all of Jack’s remaining senses. The way Kent was looking at him made him feel as if he was floating. He decided that maybe feeling weightless wasn’t so bad.

Jack pulls through the second complete spin. It was the first time that Jack had been featured in a magazine article. It questioned whether or not he would be ready to enter the NHL by the time he finished high school. He threw the magazine across his room. Jack felt as though his brain was too heavy, weighing him down, and he struggled to move toward the medicine cabinet in his bathroom. The air around his felt abnormally thick, and he was gasping, trying to suck in as much oxygen as he could, but to no avail- his lungs wouldn't let him. Finally managing to open a small, orange pill bottle, he swallowed several Xanax. Jack grimaced at the bitter taste they left in his mouth and laid back onto his bed, waiting for his head start spinning high above his body.

Jack pulls through the third complete spin. He was out with Kent after they had won the championship game of the Junior Hockey League. The press had cornered him following the game, and once he'd managed to escape their crowding all he knew was that he needed to keep himself from thinking about anything at all. He couldn’t remember how many drinks he’d had to drink to make all of the buzzing in his head stop, but he did remember his stomach violently purging itself of the poison outside of whatever house they were at. Kent rubbed soothing circles on his back as blackness threatened to creep into his vision. He didn’t like losing control like he had begun to do more and more frequently. The only thing that had kept the grass from spiraling out from beneath him were Kent’s firm hands grasping his shoulders. Eventually though, Kent got tired, and those comforting hands let go. That was something Jack couldn’t deal with, not even for a second. He happily surrendered to the darkness that covered his eyes.

Jack begins to turn into the fourth spin when his ankles start to twist around each other and he feels his arms splay out from against his sides, trying to compensate for his loss of balance. The NHL draft was the next day and Jack couldn’t breathe as he stood hunched over the sink in his bathroom. He had waited for his medication to kick in, but like the last several weeks that he had taken it, the Xanax did nothing to calm him down. He poured the rest of the bottle into his palm and swallowed the remaining pills dry. After a few minutes the ground under his feet spun violently as his vision blurred. The last thing he could remember was hitting the floor hard, feeling like nothing kept him down in his body. There was nothing holding onto to him to stop that weightlessness from completely enveloping him, and passively he had watched himself spin away from his body before there was nothing. 

Jack feels his feet start to slide out from under him and he knows that he’s going to crash unto the ice. That split second seems like eternity. There’s nothing he can do but wait to hit the ground.

To his surprise, however, he never falls all the way down. Small hands wrap themselves securely around his wrists, tugging back against the direction he was leaning. Holding his breath, Jack rocks forward on the front curve of the skates and, knees bent, pulls himself back into a stable squatting position. He’s shaking, and can’t let go of Bitty’s wrists. 

“That was incredible, Jack! …Are you alright?”

Taking in a few gently shuddering breaths, Jack looks up to see Bitty staring back at him, his face a combination of enthusiasm and concern. His hands are still grasped tightly around Jack’s wrists, steadying their shake. Jack blinks slowly, regaining his composure as he stands up, letting go of Bitty. Bitty’s fingers linger for just a second longer than they need to, something which Jack doesn’t fail to notice. “Yeah, I’m fine, Bittle. That was… a much different feeling than playing hockey.”

Instantly, Bitty is back to being all sunshine and cheer. “That’s the best first attempt at a spin I’ve ever seen! Jack Laurent Zimmermann, did you go and lie to me about not having learned those? Because you know I don’t appreciate a liar, and I’ll have you know that…” As Bitty continues to prattle on, Jack listens quietly, his thoughts half focused on the rush of euphoria that continues to make him feel like his head hasn’t stopped spinning.

Bitty finally notices that Jack is only partially paying attention to him, and quiets down to ask what exactly Jack is thinking about that’s so great.

“Nothing in particular,” Jack replies, skating back the edge of the stands. He looks down at Bitty, who has skated up and stopped next to him. “I guess I just didn’t realize that spinning could be so nice.”

Bitty blushes. “Well, we’ll have to keep at it then, won’t we Mr. Zimmermann?”

Jack smiles. Somehow, if Bitty is there, he thinks he can handle spinning again. “Sure Bittle, whatever you say.”


End file.
